Its funny how changes in your life can go unnoticed for a very long time. A series of small changes to your daily routine all add up and then one day you realise the way you live your life is nothing like what it once was. Some bad habits can creep in or maybe some small improvements are made.
The tricky bit for me is to decide on which changes are good and to spot any bad habits.
The changes I am talking about are, of course, related to my fetish which by its very nature is all-encompassing – a dominant factor in my life. Some may say this fact alone is a bad habit, but to me a habit is a bad habit only if it affects your ability to do the things you wanted or needed to do (or severely affect your own health other people in any way).
For certain, my fetish has rarely affected what I wanted or needed to do, at least in the past. The thing is, things have progressed bit by bit to what even I find a more extreme way of living and so I think it is about time to re-appraise. But that is easier said than done. Unpicking guilt associated with my social/cultural deviation from the very real possibility I may be letting things go too far in my quest to take me to my life to new highs of experience.
It impossible to do everything, so I have willingly chosen to pair down my life to a considerable degree in order to dedicate it to support my fetish aims. Certainly I am still discovering new levels sensual existence, along with just how sealed in you can be when eliminate as many time consuming commitments as possible, which previously prevented me from being in rubber.
Also I don’t have anything in my mind that I think I may be missing out on, but it’s easy to be paranoid when you are living hermetically sealed from the majority of society. Essentially I can do all the things I decided I needed to be able to do going into this, but know I can hardly be impartial deciding on what new things to do if they turn out to compromise my rubber lifestyle. It would impossible to be impartial when everything that goes with living in my rubber skin just feels so right for me…
I do feel like rubber is my true skin and I love being in my rubber support system. I feel so pure in here. I now find it is more comfortable to be in rubber and creepy to be in other clothes. I feel so clean, I feel alive in my rubber and dull (un-dead) when I am not. For some reason, which I cannot fathom, I feel so masculine to be in my rubber skin. Its certainly part of my personal self image.
I dread being out of my rubber skin. Being in rubber is so calming and the time out of rubber feels almost hysterical. When putting on my rubber, I crave that last item completing the seal and then I know I feel normal again.
What frequency and degree of rubber hermetic seal feels normal now is what is interesting. Certainly it has to be more complete and total than it did. If trend continues, I have to wonder what it might restrict what I am able to do in the future…
Sealed
5 comments:
It's been noted before in discussions that we naturally adapt and habituate to experience and the abnormal condition becomes normal and not note worthy.
This is what leads people deeper into drugs and alcohol, to climb higher steeper mountains, dive in deeper waters, race faster cars and get more and more into their fetish pursuits.
No one comes in at the top, such as starting as a total enclosure fan. Those who experience such things early on can only do it and even enjoy it for short stints, as the discomfort quickly overrides the pleasing sensations. With more exposure and practice the body learns to cope and it adapts. This does not mean that the pleasure experience is necessarily extended, but it sets up the possibility to change the circumstances where it can.
Obviously this process cannot go on forever as you reach hard limits of your biology. At some point a masochist tolerance and love of pain will lead to actual physical damage which could be dangerous to the life. And there are ample stories of breath play which ended in the ultimate sacrifice usually in solo play because the experience prevents the person from responding to save their own life.
Perhaps the way round this is to adapt a strategy which mitigates the adaptation and normalcy. And this seems to suggest some sort of denial as opposed to more frequency and intensity. But that's no fun, since people are looking to push limits for some reason.
You can ruin the pleasure of your favorite food if you do it so much that you adapt to it as normal. Most people intuitively recognize this and mix it up and rediscover how wonderful the experience is. This doesn't seem to be a popular strategy for fetishists.
Dark
I have been lurking and following your blog and am pleased to see you posting again. I was concerned by your absence.
I understand fully what you are saying, as I have some of the same issues. TE can be so difficult to maintain and for me is impossible for the lengths of time that you manage, mainly due to work. Feeling the rubber encasing my body once again after too many hours in 'conventional' attire is a wonderful and liberating feeling. As the final glove goes on, the zips close and the enclosure is complete true relaxation and enjoyment can begin.
Maintaining is difficult. I can sometimes find so may excuses not to rubber up....need to go shopping, got to take the dog out, need to shower... but once I do, I never fully understand why I put the enivitable off. Spending hour upon hour totally sealed up in rubber with my poppers pump giving me intermittant shots of poppers into the mask is indeed restricting, and does effect our ability to do 'normal' everyday things, but would we seriously not got for TE so that life was easier? No me neither. 24/7 while not realistically possible as things are, does remain a goal. The wonderful featureless anonymity of TE is in itself such a buzz and so satisfying I cannot imagine ever foregoing such pleasures.
Reassessment is always good; like constructive criticism it can give fuel and ideas for further development and lead to enhancements.
TE is not easy for any of us rubberists but we need to feel the restriction, enclosure and our real skins to feel ourselves and indeed be who we really are. TE is for me a journey, not the destination. Like the magical mystery tour, we keep on going, sometimes changing direction, sometimes, going back a few steps, but the journey is always going forward in one way or another. Although we strive to get to our ultimate destination, none of us really want to get there or ever do as the destination is in constant state of flux.
Today we know where we want to go, what we want to achieve with our fetish, in a months time that will be different. Standing back sometimes, having a look around and appreciating where we are, what we have achieved, and how we got to this point, lets us enjoy and strive for more, and you know as well as I, in TE, more is usually a very good thing.
Some good replies & private messages, so thank you.
Dark, I can see the logic in your well reasoned argument, but maybe different people get to a total enclosure via many different routes. To cut to the chase I have to disagree with your statement: “No one comes in at the top, such as starting as a total enclosure fan.” – as I know I did. I may not have known the TE term when I started, but I knew I was obsessed with being hermetically sealed from the moment I could imagine the concept, which was a long time before learning of a substance called latex, let alone my first experiences of rubber.
Your absolutely right that what starts out as being only possible for a short while does become something you can consider to be the most comfortable / comforting way to dress for at least some of each day. I also admit there may even be some tendencies towards a submission or probably even masochistic element to much of the talk of things like total enclosure and endurance you see on the web. For me, I think of it more in terms of an act of dedication.
I’ve heard this favourite food argument so many times and wonder just how relevant it is to my experience. Just because its true of fine dinning, why does that mean it should cast any insight on my fetish? Could it be a person’s fetish can appeal as a repetitive experience to an autistic side of their consciousness? Possibly, but in any case I suspect my fetish is born out of baser or at least simpler instincts than my favourite dish. If we have to go down the analogy route, I suggest it could be more like the desire to eat than the particular food stuffs we eat. Most people never tire of eating, even though they may be lucky to have the opportunity to do it every day. They have an appetite for it, which may vary, but will be there through their life. The same for many other things – like people wanting exercise every day, listen to music, dance, feel well, feel alive… There are many repetitive or even steady state aspects to what we like, just as there some things that may be better experienced on occasion. Which things fall into which categories are possibly part of what makes us individual, if not born as individuals, then made into individuals by our experiences.
I wonder why its so difficult to explain why something that appeals as on occasional thing to one person, may be what another person needs as a constant? Personally, I have come to accept these differences, even though I may not understand them yet.
To salinepumper@yahoo.co.uk, I am glad you have been lurking all this time and have now spoken out. It seems it was worth the wait! I can see real TE insight in your comments…
Your right, TE is not easy for any of us rubberists, but these challenges are not reasons for not trying. Therefore it is often a case of a thousand reasons to not be in rubber, and yet I cannot remember ever regretting being totally encased in rubber, once the final seal is made. This single fact help me come up with the framework that helps me make rubber TE a regular habit, rather than something I do just when the idea pops into my head.
TE is a journey and reassessment is always good. I also makes sense to me to develop the ideas, while occasionally checking to see if we have gone down a dangerous black hole makes. I guess that’s exactly what my rather nebulous post was about.
24/7 or anything close – I prefer to think of as an ideal and certainly not a goal. A goal needs to be something to realistically aim for, if they are to have value. The ideal is a concept that exists in the mind and it is not necessary to achieve it to appreciate its power on the imagination. It informs my latest goal. Also, the ideal is deliberately set so there is minimal risk of achieving it, so our journey can continue to the next goal…
And so far I think your right, in TE, more is usually a very good thing. This will help me think my way out of my current black hole.
Sealed
The food analogy has its limitations, it's just an analogy and not a one to one correspondence.
Food is a necessity and our hunger is part of survival so we never seemingly get tired of eating unless we are forced to do it non stop! When our body needs energy hunger arises and we eat and when we have eaten enough (usually) we experience satiation.
There is no biological need for being encased in rubber or anything. The need is self created for any number of reasons. Some of these include psychological, sensual, & sexual. The need for encasement is the result of stimulus response and positive reinforcement feedback loops. Your mind and you nervous system creates the need from physical exposure to the experience.
I think I misspoke when I wrote you can't come in at the top and you must climb the ladder of experiences beginning modestly and advancing to total encasement in this case.
I recall my own very early erotic musings as an adolescent which involved a totally encased female. It's hard to remember if as the time my concept of this female was encased in a single continuous "skin" like a rubber glove, but this very well may have been what my young mind locked on. I don't know why this might have appealed to me or what made the image appear in my mind, but it clearly might have been like a encasing second skin of rubber. Again my recollection is dim, but I might have also imagined myself in a similar garment as my lover.
This was a long time ago and as a youth I had no access to media which would have revealed such garments or anything similar. And perhaps they were no even made back then. But aside from the seams they are made today and are accessible in the media (internet) fo those to experience, so it is entirely possible that were I much younger I might have gone right out and tried a TE garment.
One obvious issue for the encasement fanatic is that it makes anything approaching a normal relationship well nigh to impossible. You would need a partner who approves, enjoys or at least accepts the implications of a such a partner isolated inside the encasement. While this is part of role play and a common "scene" in the scene, it continues to change reality except in the case of latexladyII.
Even as a part time pursuit... say for a day or more, it would still be taxing on normal relationships where it would represent an isolation, separation seemingly for the enclosed partner's "selfish" needs. Many relationships could not sustain this.
My observations from reading about rubberists and their need / liking for enclosure is that they simply "addict" themselves to the experience convinced that there are no down side consequences and only increased sensual, sexual and psychological benefits. This is certainly possible, but not always the case.
Dark
Hi Sealed.
Thanks for your mail. I appear to have lost it so cannot reply. Mail me again and I'll bet back in touch.
salinepumper@yahoo.co.uk
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