You can always rely on Dark for some detailed comments – thank u! Not going to address every point, partly as the entry stands on its merit and partly because I feel out cultured by the ballet references… But having said that it does raise some interesting points regarding the Platonic ideal I carry in my head for my self image based on my fetish.
A quick note on the phrase “Platonic Ideal” Dark uses, as I see there is a great risk of readers getting the wrong impression here. I believe Dark is specifically NOT talking about some sort of Platonic love (love without carnal desires), but a philosophy of attempting to capture the essence of a pure form / concept. i.e. Perfection. The essence of a wheel is a perfect geometric circle. The essence of my perfect form may be a sleek, rubber enclosed person … bla bla… You get the picture.
I did find it interesting to realise that a person’s pursuit of the Platonic Ideal does seem to usually require dedication / hard work / compromise / sacrifice / discomfort in most endeavours and not just my own - being a totally sealed rubber enclosed person. It also seems to often involve some additional voluntary compromise to subdue the ideal in order to integrate into some social contexts – as in: a ballet dancer may decide to refrain from pirouetting in their tights during a funeral service at the risk of being thought to be showing off their Platonic Ideal package! Of course, no body could stop him from turning up in his prancing outfit – although they may try discouraging him if forewarned.
I must admit to being a little shocked by Darks comment that 2nd skin fetishist ‘…could only be tolerated in very minor doses before "laws" were enacted against it.’. Laws? My goodness, do we really live in societies that are so intolerant as to criminalise a particular mode of dress, just because of a sexual overtone or dehumanisation effect? Surely we are living in a society where we are progressing towards tolerance and that things that would have been totally unacceptable for (say) any women to wear 50 years ago (too explicit) are now the basis for all ladies summer fashion? Do you not live in the land of the free!!! Hmmm… I just looked out the window and remembered the latest rant I heard from the far right… and I am starting to think that Dark may have a point...
On another topic, the idea that my fetish ideal requires another to view my in that image does not ring true for me, I have to say. I accept it does for Dark and others – even if it is a theoretical other person. I am NOT saying that I do not want / have sex with others. I am saying that my fetish is not contingent on another’s perception or interaction, even if their participation would be welcome. Primarily, my fetish (Fetish~=fixation on an inanimate object who’s presence is necessary for sexual gratification) is my desire (love?) of the rubber second skin, which ideally should be fully enclosing MY body and/or secondarily, another person’s body. My fetish dreamscape may typically involve other(s) similarly totally enclosed to myself – but it is not contingent on it, even if their presence only facilitates an enhanced experience.
I like to sail, drive and act out my fetish with the company of another. I can do all these on my own without invalidating the essence of what I am doing. I have chosen to live with my partner – but this unrelated to my fetish, which was at least as strong, vibrant and important to me when single and not dating.
For a while I thought I may be alone in this attitude, but as you have probably guessed, have found others via the internet with even more polarized positions than myself. A local fetishist comes to mind, who it seems has absolutely no sexual desires or even preferences for other people – but loves his fetish and does not mind being social with others. To be honest – I am still trying to get my head round this mind set, but accept that it is very real to them and very revealing of my own…
BTW – Work place total enclosure may not be possible for everyone – but it is a reality for me for at least some of the time. As some will recall from last year, up till the end of November, you could have counted the number of days I worked in anything other than “near-TE” on your fingers (Near TE as I chose to remove my mask for some phone conferences). This was obviously not because I braved the work place fully suited up, but because I mainly worked from home. I guess us home workers are very lucky – but then again home working is a growing trend for those whose work can take advantage of new technology.
Yes there is a lot of de-humanisation involved in my chosen mode, with the lack of facial signals etc. You do end up being judged by your words and actions rather than facial expression. It’s not as bad as being on the end of a phone – but more effort is needed to communicate, unless you are wearing a very clear mask.
Biological issues are just physical (plumbing) problems waiting to be overcome – and only solutions which enhance your existence need be adopted, as the degree of totality of the enclosed lifestyle can be adjusted by the individual to suit their limits and preferences. It puts me in mind of all the “artificial” technological solutions many western people take for granted, which provide for better sanitation / hygiene / comfort / warmth. I don’t think that a woman is totally “inhuman” just because she may be wearing tampons, coil, sanitary pads, eye glasses, cycling helmet, pacemaker, implants, piercings, painted nails, wrist watch, antiperspirant, toothpaste, hair colour, makeup, roller blades, skis, ipod or mobile cell phone (although I may suspect her judgement if she tries using all these things while cycling). One of my relatives had bowel surgery resulting in them needing a permanent colostomy – but they are still human, but found a technical plumbing solution to their biological needs. Yep, I know some will argue about the fact that many of these things are not a matter of choice – but I chose the enclosed lifestyle and the plumbing issues are just the consequence, not the objective, and I chose to make the best of them. Most of us westerners who work in offices in close proximity with others would choose to pollute their bodies with volatile chemicals to hide their odor and make the best of it – just different ends of a continuum perhaps.
But I think we always expect their to be some sacrifices and a lot of compromises involved in pursuing any Platonic Ideal. The question for the individual is, does the benefits outweigh the personal cost and dedication required to be aiming for that ideal. The occasional day of being terribly cold may be a price you have to be prepared to take to be able to sail in some of the most beautiful waters. Occasionally getting to too hot, bouts of profuse perspiration and thus being water logged in my rubber skin for the rest of the day is one of the discomforts I find I am prepared to put up with.
At the moment, I am finding I have found a very good level of attainment towards my ideal at a personal cost I find I can take and am willing to afford. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else than to be in my rubber skin for the majority of the time. And that is my own personal benchmark – the majority of my time in my rubber skin and my goals are to continue to engineer the rest of my life and work to support the aim of sustaining a (largely) rubbery lifestyle.
To want anything else, now seems incredible to me. As a rubber enclosed person I am comfortable, feel safe and am also more sensual. I look more like my “ideal” self in the mirror and spend much of my time feeling very much more sexually stimulated. There is much less dichotomy between sexual and non-sexual activities in my life as I carry my perfect bedroom scene around with me all the time – and this make me feel more vital, alive and yes, more human – or at least more animal. Yes, it is frequently exhausting and often quite uncomfortable to be 3 strokes away from orgasm much of the day, every day of every week, while trying to achieve non-sexual objectives – but it should be no surprise that it is “addictive” (in the loosest sense of the word).
I know many/most fetishist require more variation in their existence and even I feel the same craving sometimes as I force myself to change into my clean suit. But I discovered, almost be accident, that before long I never regret actually having got into my rubber skin, even if I strongly craved being uncovered when I was first getting dressed. This discovery was after dedicating a month to compelling myself to wearing rubber each day all day - just for an experiment to see what happened.
Over time I discovered that if I was going to want to wear rubber total enclosure for long periods frequently, then there were advantages in trying to minimise the amount of time I ever spent not in rubber (at least from the neck down if not TE).This would overcome the negative aspects of re-acclimatisation and overestimation. It also means I have an easy framework for the daily indecision on question of “should I get into rubber today, when and for how long? Am I in the mood?” – where the question becomes Q1 “Is there any specific reason I could not get into my rubber skin right now?” and Q2 “When would I need to strip and change into non rubber?”.
Once in that state there seemed to be no way back for me and I am now looking forward to a time in a few weeks when the answer will always be “no” to Q1, every single day and “not any time soon” to Q2! Until then, I must take what opportunity I can through the week and suffer the effects of withdrawal and re-acclimatisation – exhausting but still fun….
Sealed
Friday, May 26, 2006
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Stop going on about 24/7!?!?! :o)
Thanks for the comments from Dark and 13 to my last entry on ‘Is “totally sealed rubber object” a gender’. As you probably guessed, it was not an entirely cogent point, but a hope for fresh debate. Maybe I was looking to clarify my fetish rather than just come up with a new explanation for my actions. It certainly got some people thinking – which is the fun thing about it for me. I am still amazed (and very pleased) that people read my blog given how infrequently I have been updating it! Here are some more questions and feedback for you:
Does the rubber disable us from interacting with society – or does society handicap rubber TE fetishist from interacting with it?
Dependency on a security blanket – Is wonder if there is a coloration between children who reply on a security blanket to those who grow into adulthood with a rubber fetish? Also, is their a relationship between those children who experience involuntary withdrawal of their security blanket by their parents/guardians and those who become hooked on rubber fetish?
Addiction – I think that is certainly true that many of us use rubber as a crutch and become very dependant on regular top up doses (in my case very regular daily doses). On the other hand, addiction is usually taken (I think) as a state were not only are you psychologically dependent but that there is a physiologically dependency resulting in a negative physical reaction on withdrawing the substance (e.g. cold turkey). Now I have noticed that once you have become fully adjusted to daily and prolonged enclosure in latex over several months, there are some physical reactions when you go cold turkey – but to be honest the worst of these are non-serious skin issues for the first week or so. So – is rubber TE an actual addiction or a dependency? Maybe I am splitting hairs – given people use the word addiction so loosely – like “I am addicted to tobacco” which I (as a ill informed non-smoker) would think would be better described as a dependency. Mind you, it’s not that easy to give up smoking, so maybe we underestimate dependency (rubber TE included) at our peril!
As for the question of the usual desire for new experiences, rather than ice cream 24/7, I think this is what separates my particular fetish from other experiences and makes me think of the question of self image. Yes, I know MOST rubberists get into their latex suits for some sort of fix – either a regular quick fix or an occasional big session and I cannot see anything wrong with that. However, for me the quick fix may be a factor to deal with, but not the real full story. For me the sleek rubber TE look is my true inner self – and/or self image or “natural” state. I specifically want to be mainly in that rubber state as my default mode and know it will make me feel at ease. Although am perfectly willing to dress up in weird itchy, drafty, uncomfortable outfits for specific social or other functions (like climbing gear, sailing gear, business suit…), these are just costumes that portray me in somebody else’s idealised form.
Isn’t all this rubber TE just all related to sex – well yes, but don’t many women only feel comfortable with their appearances when fully made up and wearing sexy clothes? It doesn’t stop it being their own self image of their gender does it? And here we go back dangerously close to the original gender point I think…
Dark thinks that they would not want to be in rubber (or any other experience) 24/7 as it would become “a prison not a place of comfort”.
Firstly, I have come to think that we need to decouple lifestyle rubber TE and the whole “24/7” phrase – which I find has become a block to our understanding and personally irritating. OK, yes some of us only fantasies about the 24/7/365 thing, but that does not stop us aspiring or living out OUR versions of a lifestyle rubber TE fetish. Me living in rubber 23/7, 20/7, 15/7 hours – what does it matter? The fact that this is my “normal” state, affirming my self image, makes me different from other rubber fetishists and the horrible tag “lifestyle” is the only one I have come across that comes close to explaining it so far. [WARNING – off topic example coming up] Ellen McCarther sailing the south Atlantic or me sailing the North Channel at night – we both feel we are having a great sailor adventure. I think if you put numbers against a personal adventure, you miss the point of how the person feels about their experience and themselves. If we keep going on about the South Atlantic or 24/7/365 in rubber as the norm is just going to make some of us feel inadequate! :o)
Secondly, I am very happy in my prison – particularly given I have the proverbial key and can get out when I need to. [I say proverbial key as, when I think about it, I do often chose to lock myself in my rubber skin and give the key to someone else!!!]. What I would be less happy about is being locked out of my latex prison – as it is my rightful home, but I guess that I would survive it – just not necessarily like it. I know others will feel differently – and that’s fine. I so see their point of view and know I may never be able to explain why my rubber fetishist is not just like theirs. Of course, it does help to know they are all trying very hard to see my point of view too.
Thanks,
Sealed
Does the rubber disable us from interacting with society – or does society handicap rubber TE fetishist from interacting with it?
Dependency on a security blanket – Is wonder if there is a coloration between children who reply on a security blanket to those who grow into adulthood with a rubber fetish? Also, is their a relationship between those children who experience involuntary withdrawal of their security blanket by their parents/guardians and those who become hooked on rubber fetish?
Addiction – I think that is certainly true that many of us use rubber as a crutch and become very dependant on regular top up doses (in my case very regular daily doses). On the other hand, addiction is usually taken (I think) as a state were not only are you psychologically dependent but that there is a physiologically dependency resulting in a negative physical reaction on withdrawing the substance (e.g. cold turkey). Now I have noticed that once you have become fully adjusted to daily and prolonged enclosure in latex over several months, there are some physical reactions when you go cold turkey – but to be honest the worst of these are non-serious skin issues for the first week or so. So – is rubber TE an actual addiction or a dependency? Maybe I am splitting hairs – given people use the word addiction so loosely – like “I am addicted to tobacco” which I (as a ill informed non-smoker) would think would be better described as a dependency. Mind you, it’s not that easy to give up smoking, so maybe we underestimate dependency (rubber TE included) at our peril!
As for the question of the usual desire for new experiences, rather than ice cream 24/7, I think this is what separates my particular fetish from other experiences and makes me think of the question of self image. Yes, I know MOST rubberists get into their latex suits for some sort of fix – either a regular quick fix or an occasional big session and I cannot see anything wrong with that. However, for me the quick fix may be a factor to deal with, but not the real full story. For me the sleek rubber TE look is my true inner self – and/or self image or “natural” state. I specifically want to be mainly in that rubber state as my default mode and know it will make me feel at ease. Although am perfectly willing to dress up in weird itchy, drafty, uncomfortable outfits for specific social or other functions (like climbing gear, sailing gear, business suit…), these are just costumes that portray me in somebody else’s idealised form.
Isn’t all this rubber TE just all related to sex – well yes, but don’t many women only feel comfortable with their appearances when fully made up and wearing sexy clothes? It doesn’t stop it being their own self image of their gender does it? And here we go back dangerously close to the original gender point I think…
Dark thinks that they would not want to be in rubber (or any other experience) 24/7 as it would become “a prison not a place of comfort”.
Firstly, I have come to think that we need to decouple lifestyle rubber TE and the whole “24/7” phrase – which I find has become a block to our understanding and personally irritating. OK, yes some of us only fantasies about the 24/7/365 thing, but that does not stop us aspiring or living out OUR versions of a lifestyle rubber TE fetish. Me living in rubber 23/7, 20/7, 15/7 hours – what does it matter? The fact that this is my “normal” state, affirming my self image, makes me different from other rubber fetishists and the horrible tag “lifestyle” is the only one I have come across that comes close to explaining it so far. [WARNING – off topic example coming up] Ellen McCarther sailing the south Atlantic or me sailing the North Channel at night – we both feel we are having a great sailor adventure. I think if you put numbers against a personal adventure, you miss the point of how the person feels about their experience and themselves. If we keep going on about the South Atlantic or 24/7/365 in rubber as the norm is just going to make some of us feel inadequate! :o)
Secondly, I am very happy in my prison – particularly given I have the proverbial key and can get out when I need to. [I say proverbial key as, when I think about it, I do often chose to lock myself in my rubber skin and give the key to someone else!!!]. What I would be less happy about is being locked out of my latex prison – as it is my rightful home, but I guess that I would survive it – just not necessarily like it. I know others will feel differently – and that’s fine. I so see their point of view and know I may never be able to explain why my rubber fetishist is not just like theirs. Of course, it does help to know they are all trying very hard to see my point of view too.
Thanks,
Sealed
Monday, May 22, 2006
Is “totally sealed rubber object” a gender
Sorry to anyone who has been watching this blog for new entries and been disappointed this year. I have had a very bad time since Feb and have often found myself away from internet access or rubber – sometimes both at the same time – yikes!
I am hoping that normal service will start to be resuming over the next 8 weeks, but in the meantime, let me pose the following question…
Is “totally sealed rubber object” my true gender, or possibly my sexual orientation or non of the above? I have given this a lot of thought while talking it through with friends and see if you can follow my thought patterns.
OK – in very simplistic terms: I am told that Sex is a biological thing, orientation is to do with who we find ourselves sexually drawn to and how we carry on, while gender is how we perceive our true character related to sexuality. So for example, someone could be born with male biology but could believe that their true self is feminine and may even take drugs or undertake surgical procedures to make their body comply with this self image. This is not at all directly related to sexual orientation – otherwise most guy men would be on hormones and having surgery – which is obviously ridiculous.
I, on the other hand am born genetically male, but my feeling of identity seems to be best served by the image of being totally hermetically sealed in rubber. Biologically a man, but my whole being is screaming out to be a sleek rubber, 100% totally sealed fetish object – it’s just the “real me” – or at least, who I aspire to be. When I achieve this state of total enclosure, the moment that gas mask (or whatever) is finally on, I suddenly feel calm and at peace with myself. I feel more confident, less indecisive and “more natural” (a contradiction I know). When out of rubber for any period of time “I am not myself” and seem to lose my identity / individuality or sense of “me”.
Could be this is a pathological mental disease – but surely it could only be pathological if it stopped me achieving my aims or functioning in society. In a way it does limit me – but party I am disabled by society as they would not accept me in the state closest my self image. On the other hand, I am still able to dress the way society want when I absolutely need to, so it’s not like I am unable to adapt. But fundamentally, time spent in mundane clothes is a bit like time being forced to wear a prison (jail) uniform – something to be endured and not exactly what I would chose.
So what do you think? Lifestyle “totally sealed rubber object” as a third gender? Or am I just talking crap?
Sealed
I am hoping that normal service will start to be resuming over the next 8 weeks, but in the meantime, let me pose the following question…
Is “totally sealed rubber object” my true gender, or possibly my sexual orientation or non of the above? I have given this a lot of thought while talking it through with friends and see if you can follow my thought patterns.
OK – in very simplistic terms: I am told that Sex is a biological thing, orientation is to do with who we find ourselves sexually drawn to and how we carry on, while gender is how we perceive our true character related to sexuality. So for example, someone could be born with male biology but could believe that their true self is feminine and may even take drugs or undertake surgical procedures to make their body comply with this self image. This is not at all directly related to sexual orientation – otherwise most guy men would be on hormones and having surgery – which is obviously ridiculous.
I, on the other hand am born genetically male, but my feeling of identity seems to be best served by the image of being totally hermetically sealed in rubber. Biologically a man, but my whole being is screaming out to be a sleek rubber, 100% totally sealed fetish object – it’s just the “real me” – or at least, who I aspire to be. When I achieve this state of total enclosure, the moment that gas mask (or whatever) is finally on, I suddenly feel calm and at peace with myself. I feel more confident, less indecisive and “more natural” (a contradiction I know). When out of rubber for any period of time “I am not myself” and seem to lose my identity / individuality or sense of “me”.
Could be this is a pathological mental disease – but surely it could only be pathological if it stopped me achieving my aims or functioning in society. In a way it does limit me – but party I am disabled by society as they would not accept me in the state closest my self image. On the other hand, I am still able to dress the way society want when I absolutely need to, so it’s not like I am unable to adapt. But fundamentally, time spent in mundane clothes is a bit like time being forced to wear a prison (jail) uniform – something to be endured and not exactly what I would chose.
So what do you think? Lifestyle “totally sealed rubber object” as a third gender? Or am I just talking crap?
Sealed
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