After such a long time, I wonder if anyone will come by and read this post? If they do, I wonder how many of them will be moved to jot down a comment or two? I suspect that might depend on what I say. Lets see…
I haven’t written anything here for a while because I was essentially waiting for something... I do write for a reason, and this is because I have found the process of writing has helped me discover the depth of my feelings and help give me the strength of will needed to attempt to achieve some of my fantasies as actual daily life. I also want to write about something someone who shared my fetish might want to read, but there was a problem. I had started to think that I had reached a sort of “Personal Nirvana” but also realised this was the seeds of a problem….
As past readers will have guessed, my perception of my reaching my “Personal Nirvana” was because I am routinely able to achieve my fetish fantasy; which if summarised would read something like “living and working sealed in rubber total enclosure”. Or at least I can say I able to live like this as much of the time as I am ever likely be able to achieve in real life. I also know I am very lucky because I am living in rubber more of the time than most similarly minded people will ever even get the chance to try. But while this is fantastic for me, it means that I was not motivated to write here and also I was starting to struggle to find anything new to say. Meanwhile there is a greater problem: I think I may have lost ambition in my fetish and with this complacency I have started to find it more of a challenge to keep motivated. I became increasingly aware of some of the negative impacts of my chosen dedication to spending my time sealed up, and started thinking of how my time could be spent if I could summon up the courage to peel off my rubber skin. As soon as I could put all this into words I knew I was at a turning point; I could not stay were I was for long, the only question was which direction to go in. Revert back to rubber total enclosure just being a fetish whim I indulged only when I the mood took me, or plough on to “new depths”…
…and I have made my decision. It is time to experiment with new depths of perverted experience to see if this new ambition will revitalise my motivations. So it was time to review my experiences and look at ways to take them to the next level.
I had found that, once acclimatised, being totally enclosed in latex is generally a comfortable experience, although if you want to stay sealed up all day it can involve some physical sacrifices and some (more significant) psychological challenges. I found that the amount of sacrifice I felt I was making did increase as the length of time I regularly spent totally enclosed increased. For a long time I viewed this sacrifice to be just an expression of the dedication to my rubber enclosed existence. As if me, my body and my mind, were a submissive, getting off on submitting to the dominance of my rubber total enclosure fetish – my own in-built master. After all, it was being in rubber “longer than necessary” [for “just” straightforward sexual gratification] that was the centre of my motivating kink. But later I realised the feeling of sacrifice were having a slow but corrosive affect on my motivation levels and I was suddenly getting closer to the end of my will power. Then I looked at which of my sacrifices were actually necessary for my fetish and discovered that my dedication was enough if I was sacrificing spending time on activities that were not rubber compatible. If I were to tackle the remaining challenges in order to keep my mind more constantly focused on my fetish existence, I would have a more sustainable, intense and maybe even a more addictive lifestyle.
To achieve being in rubber as much as my fetish demands of me, I sometimes have had to convince myself that I must don my rubber at all opportunities, even though at that précised moment I did not have any desire to put on my rubber. Once I have got into my rubber I have never regretted being totally enclosed, but sometimes it as much a huge fetish comfort as it has been an intense perverted experience. I feel I need to get back to the intensity of experience where I was oblivious to anything other than the experience of being totally encased in rubber. Nothing short of this would eliminate the corrosive affects on my weakening will power.
It has long been an open question for me as to if my love of things like rubber and being hermetically sealed in a shinny membrane is 100% sexual in origin. It does seem very likely to be connected to sex, but I did have the same fascination in childhood long before sexual maturity. Rather than dwell on that question, what is not in doubt is that it has come to totally define my sex life. Not surprising since I did start out my sex life, at a very early age, totally enclosed in a very thin layer of plastic, complete with re-breathing bag over my head! It is obviously true that for many of us, just being in rubber when sexually aroused is a fabulous experience and this powerful experience transcends any physical or mental discomfort, which instantly melt into insignificance.
Knowing this, I have long believed that a key to maintaining the motivation needed to regularly stay in rubber all day is to try to remain in as sexually excited state as possible - for the entire time I am enclosed in rubber. I want all the sexual tension associated with rubber, the sexual and sensual stimulation of being encased and ideally some of the sensation associated with the beginning of orgasm – but the very last thing I want to do is actually ejaculate.
I have several reasons I try to avoid ejaculation, some practical but also some psychological. Starting with a minor point, I have found being locked in rubber swimming in my own juices is not a delightful state once the sexual drive has weakened (although I have had to learned to live with it!). Excess fluids also put extra strain on the health of skin and rubber. Obviously, once I have ejaculated there is also a post coital refractory period to deal with; when I find it physiologically impossible to have additional orgasms or an erection and (possibly more importantly) I can lose the sexual drive that helps me feel drawn to be totally encased in rubber in the first place. I also often suffer from PCT (post-coital tristesse) which results in melancholy / anxiety.
So in my case, I am always trying to maintain an impossible equilibrium. I am aiming to remain in a state that is somewhere between a purely sensual state and an out an out sexual excitement. As I remain in rubber for hours or occasionally even days, this is a fight that I inevitable lose – often several times in one session. And it is a loss. I have learned to stave off the moment, but I would love to be able to be in total control of my libido as well as being in control of “if” and when I climax to ejaculation…
For any human tying to stay in this sensual/sexual state while in control introduces some further physical challenges and even what seem to be paradoxes if you also are required to “function” beyond sex some of the time you are in rubber (for me this is mainly work but also social contact, chores etc). Luckily, I was blessed with what I consider to be a healthy sexual appetite – but even at my best it has often been a struggle to stay in a sexually aroused hour after hour, day after day. As I get older, I suspect my prodigious sexual appetite has started to return to what would be “normal” levels. But “normal” is nowhere near sufficient for my purposes and so I have started the quest for something to help – yes, I am talking chemical enhancements.
Systematically stated, my aims were to achieve a chemically enhanced libido, chemically enhanced physical delivery of arousal over long than normal periods, chemically enhanced sexual experience and, for when the undesirable (but ultimately inevitable) happens and I lose control, I need a chemically reduced refractory period. For the system to be balanced I need a chemical control to prevent or delay the onset of orgasm to avoid the unpleasant refractory period which is often the greatest test for those totally encased in rubber.
My quest is ongoing but early results have been good. Even with a quick bit of research it became obvious that many companies were marketing products that could help me. I quickly chose initially to go down the herbal medicine / supplement route rather than medical pharmaceuticals as there seemed to be a much greater range of conditions the herbal alternatives were targeting and many more products to choose from - such that I hope to tailor dose “cocktails” specific to my needs.
I was actually prejudiced against herbal medicines when I started, believing them to all be “snake oil” and placebo at best – but I discovered I was wrong. The medicines contain strong active ingredients and many had quick and very unsubtle affects. Some of the products I am trying are aimed at sexual dysfunction, but the mechanisms they used to enhance erections and increase libido deliver much of what I am looking for. For someone who was lucky enough to possess sexual function, taking the supplements has generally had a delightful effect for me, delivering enhanced erections over longer periods and in more physically demanding situations. Also I have seen increases semen production / volume – which enhances my experience and goes some way to help reduce the refractory period. My background libido levels seem to be constantly enhanced.
It early days, and so I am not at the point where I have methodically made my way through all the alternatives. That is only half the reason I am not going to make any specific claims about specific products. The other half is that I think I would prefer to hear other peoples positive experiences rather than me pontificate about something I have only spent a few months researching and self experimenting with. What I will say is that they are all street legal (in UK anyway) and many are available on the high street.
If you are tempted to follow my path, for now you are going to have do your own research and come to your own conclusions - there is lots of info out there on positive and negative impacts of such supplements.
Sealed
[Footnote: Critics and commentators, please try to avoid lazily rolling out the over simplistic “constant state” arguments here and particularly avoid the “variety is the spice of life” type arguments. The temptation is to say there is no stimulation from a constant state experience. Its not there is no value in these comments, but we have been there way, way, WAY too many times and I have nothing new to add to this particular debate. I just don’t agree and if you think that it is applicable to the above situation, you have missed the point and should consider rereading - or going to the pub for some alternative stimulus...]
